Rahim
Perez -
Anderson

In My Dreams, I Held You Close is a growing exploration of emotional intimacy, gesture, and connection between myself and my two brothers; Nathan and Jare. This project illuminates the current state of our relationship, undefined and rigid, and how themes such as vulnerability, love, and bond have not yet manifested. The reality of not being able to remember a time when I’ve hugged either of my brothers, no matter the context, drives me to develop our relationship further. A world where men can be emotionally intimate with one another, free of judgement, is the world I envision for us. 

The capability of emotional intimacy among men across several intersectionalities has been lost due to preconceived notions of hypermasculinity, homophobia, and racism. As a result, the dismissal of these intimate traits has limited the possibilities of our relationship. This leaves us tending only to speak about matters external to each other; media, video games, and hardly about our emotions or experiences. However, by (re)-positioning ourselves through this work we are prompted to be vulnerable and open – open, which may be the first step towards healing what we already have, eachother.

The poetic title for this project—In My Dreams, I Held You Close—can seemingly be read as a promise to my brothers: “dreaming” of a world in which we can be vulnerable, emotionally expressive, and truly limitless together. This is only the beginning of discovering ourselves, the ones we dream we could be. Time does not forgive, so love one another while we are all still here.